Bored to DEATH!!!

Phoong Kar Mun suprised me today. @@ She came to my house and bought me some food. ^^ It's my favourite food. Xiao Long Bao and piggy bao from Dragon-i. =D Happy ^^ But still, I AM BORED!! I stayed home the whole day. I got nothing better to do besides day dreaming, eating and watching movies. It seems that I am repeating the things I did everyday. It's so bored. I want to go out!! I wanna grab some fresh air!! *GOSH* All this happens because... I refuse to go to Sabah with my mother. I refuse to go Australia with my mother. And because I refuse to look for a job. I refuse all of those amazing offers by my mother because I want to spend more time in KL, with my friends, and you (L). But I didn't know that I made the wrong decision. Every1 is on vacation, JiaQi went to Jakarta, Mei Yee went to Japan (for the 2 weeks school exchange programme), Chen Teng went back to hometown, Kar Mun just came back from Aussie (she is still busy with her family issues) and L is only allowed to go out once a week. Besides, he is working. It will be real torture if I ask him out always. @@ *sigh* I guess I made the wrong choice. I should have left to Aussie, or at least find a job. I want a job so badly. At least I have something to do, rather than staying up all night, waiting for him to come home, and just grow fungus. I told him how bored I was, and I was in tears. I really hate it. You know the feeling is like soooooo lonely. I love crowd a lot. For at least, i dont have to be alone. Besides, I swear i will gain weight. I have been eating. Once i am bored, i feel hungry. I ate so much today. And i ate fattening food like cheeeeeese. @@ Chips. Bao. And many more to go. *tears* This holiday is not what i imagined i would have. What a disappointment.

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L, I didn't blame you that you can't accompany me. I am just a little disappointed because I put a lot of hopes on this holiday. I thought that we could spend plenty of time together this holiday. I really did left million hopes in it. But it turn out all wrong. We didnt spend time together to the max. I knew you made your effort. But truly, I wasn't happy at all. I told you quite a lot of times which position you're standing in. I know you understand. But i just can't help mumbling it into your ears. I just felt so uncomfortable knowing that I could only meet you once a week and that school is reopening so soon. And what does it signifes? I am pretty sure you know what i am talking about. I am just too afraid to think, how much time i have. I just couldn't. I am sorry.